life: frustration

ok.

so recently, w. my root canal, i had to watch what i was eating: i can't have lots of things like pizza, corn, or ribs b/c i can' use my front teeth to eat.

but that's sorta not really true since i can cut it up to eat. i just have to eat spare ribs + pizza w. a fork and knife.

fun.

but yea. so i've lost 24 lbs. so far. from 128--114. i mean, i would/should be happy, but i'm not b/c i know that i didn't do anything to justify this weight loss, therefore it's unhealthy.

but i don't know what i'm doing wrong!

i mean school's out. i shouldn't have stress. but i sorta do b/c i've been looking 4 a job, applying to seven thousand different places. seeing hours i can do, making a resume, transportation, ect.


but i still haven't herd back from any of them yet, and it's been about a week by now.

but it's also not really a stress since i don't really need the extra money--i mean, it would be nice u know. buy a nice set of speakers for my new iPod nano. new earbuds. but i don't need it. so it's not really stressful; i just had my hopes up--it was my first time actually seriously considering a summer job, and i was naive. i mean, in this economy? with my non-existant work history, my age, my hours? i mean, i'm only asking for minimum wage, but still. i'm only available on the slowest days, unable to work the entire business day, no work history, poor references....

but yea.

and then i broke out for no reason. huh.

but i recently went back 2 the dentist, and he originally said i had 2 keep the brace on 4 six months, but now, i can take it off next month, meaning i've only had it on for 2 months. but hey--the sooner, the better. at this rate, it's guaranteed that i will not get my braces off by senior year.

but i just brush it off. i mean, i know several people who did their braces in their 40s, and are very happy w. it.

the thing that i'm sorta scared of is that i can't do braces after this b/c my tooth would have attached completely with my skull, making it impossible to correct my overbite with braces. that happens when you do a root canal. originally, your teeth aren't attached to your skull, enabling braces to move them; but when you break off the root, or do a root canal, there's a chance the tooth will grow back, and completely attach to the skull.

life: blood. pt. two; Tuesday

so i convinced my mom that i HAD 2 go 2 skool, and she let me.

i had congee 4 breakfast.

2 honestly say, with this ONE tooth down, it was much worse then when i extracted two pre-molars 4 the braces (i have a 7mm overbite--youch!) b/c with EVERYTHING, you have 2 use ur front teeth to bite into and get a grip to slid off the spoon/fork--even w/ congee, i had to turn the spoon upside down to feed myself.

in adv. kashif + alex didn't say anything. (we had same pe class).

in chinese (1st block), alex was like, "are you okay, angela?"
i'm like, "i'm fine. i'm fine. it's no big--i'm just fine." i wanted to say more, and crack jokes, but i really didn't want to talk--sometimes when i talked, my lower jaw would hit the steel wire, and i would get scared it would get disloged.

in chinese, frankie asked me, "are you okay, angela?"
i was like, "how did you hear?!" (i forgot that she was in my pe class that moment)
and she was like, "somebody told me." (which sounded and looked suspicious--ppl were already gossiping about my bloody accident?)

i found out during lunch that i left my APUSH hmwk @ home (sandwitched btw the laptop), so i had 2 redo the 3 pg wksheet, AND chem (i copied right off w.o. even attempting 2 understand anything). i didnt even think i could get chem in and i had it next, right after lunch, but @ least i got it in.

during my last block of the day, APUSH, i realized that i STILL didn't turn in my e-copy of my hmwk, (tim accidentally reminded me) so i was gonna call ma 2 get down here earlier so i could get home, get online, and turn it in b4 it was too late (we had only 15 min time frame, but we could race it).

but ma AND dad wouldn't pick up, and passing period was counting down on me. (after chem to apush).

kashif decided 2 ask me, "angela, are you okay? there was a lot of blood (or somthing along those lines)" when tessa and tim where there.
they were like, "what happened?!"
i was like, "thanks for keeping that descreet kashif."
i think that came across a bit sharp....>.<
he was sorry. so was i. (>.<) i really didn't mean for it 2 come across as serious!

so when apush ended, i had my phone in hand, and i was calling. no one picked up. i raced out (didn't need 2 stop @ my locker), ma wasn't there. expected. she always comes late.

nicole saw me outside, and was like, "are you okay?!"
i was like, "i'm fine. are YOU okay?"
she was like, "nothing happened 2 me."

so i had a BRILLIANT idea:
call nita 2 get it in 4 me.
it took 4ever, and she got to the wrong internet pages, but i didn't want to yell, much less be on my phone, in the library.
another brilliant idea: she could email 2 me, so i can upload it myself!!
there were no computers available. f my life.
the librarian saw me w/ my phone, but he didn't care. they're like that. sometimes they're asses, and sometimes they turn a blind eye.

i kept yelling @ nita to look for "lit gastby paper" and she was like "g?" i was screaming, "yes!!"

she kept on saying, "i dont see it" and i kept on thinking she didn't hear what i said. crappy phone signal again. AND my phone KEPT on effing beeping!!!! it would NOT stop!!! (i had another line calling me--ma)

it finally dawned on me that i did my hmwk on the BLACK ACER, which was back home. f my life.

so everything was a waste of time--me calling nita, calling ma--all those brilliant ideas.

so i gave up. my was gonna get here late, AND it alone takes 20 min 2 get back home.

ORTHADONTIST

so ma picked me up, and i was like, there's no need 2 see her mom. (i thought my splint came loose and slid down yesterday b/c i was washing my face in the shower, and i totally forgot about my tooth--i herd a crack, and i was like, OH NO!!

when i was drying up later, i asked my mom, "does it look like it moved down??"
ma was like, "tell dad 2 look  @ it."
but later she was like, "even if it did, he wouldn't have the courage to fix it for u hon. we'll go see kedzie 2morrow."

but she was like, we're going down 2 chinatown.besty knows about it, and she said to bring you down immediately.

i was like, okay. not ANOTHER cast! (my teeth were now different again)

so we went.

waited for two min.

doc saw us.

so we had to get the x-rays from kedzie (i KNEW i shoulda got them yesterday!!) (we didn't trust USPS to mail it in a timely fashion), and run them down 2 chinatown.

late nite back home........................

i had 2 write a sob story 2 my english teacher. hoped that she buys it (i really didn't have time to get it in on time, but i do have to admit, i could have done it friday, saturday, sunday, monday, or tuesday since i coulda emailed me, but i had more important things on my mind--like if i was gonna loose a tooth for example.)

she still hasen't responded, which makes me nervous, but i turned it in.

my inbox is now filled with 100+ messages from survey-ers which i don't have time 2 complete since i'm studying 4 apush. heck, i shouldn't even be on here!