music: chinese.... part 1. eason chan. 陳奕迅

i learned about my chinese musaq from my parents, so all i listen to is Andy Lau, Sammi Cheng, Fei Wong, Eason Chan... yea..

so here it is.

陳奕迅 

富士山下 ("Under Mount Fuji")



  
K歌之王 ("King of Karaoke")




  
單車 ("Bicycle")

 




人來人往 ("People Come People Go")





明年今日 ("Next Year")






1874 








孤兒仔 ("Orphan")

life: PREAKIN OUT

so... now that july is rollin out, i'm phreaking out about summur hmwk.

here's the horrid list:

1. read a chapter The Black Death

2. take notes

3. read the ENTIRE A World Lit Only By Fire

4. write an ESSAY on the both of them

5. read the ENTIRE Frankenstein novel

6. read the ENTIRE How to Read Literature Like a Professor (even tho my phresh lit teacher really liked it & claims it to be an amazing book)

7. watch the Matrix (i'm serious!)

8. ID all the countries on Europe (all of them! who the frigg is able to tell Yugoslavia & Czechoslovakia apart?!!)

it's just horrendous. it's phreaking me out. i mean, i have to read 3 WHOLE books (one of which is nonfiction), write an ESSAY when my brain's writing cells have been dead for weeks, AND be able to i.d. all those teeny countries on europe that nobody has even herd of!

nice.

good job.

cause i was the one to choose these A.P. classes.

i thought that AP Euro would be exciting, but rite now i'm just dreading it.

like, really, really, dreading it b/c it's something completely new--they don't teach european history in elementary school! it's going to be a LOT of history--all those countries, revolutions, kings, dukes, oh god.

so i'm starting now.

so far, frankenstein is okaaayyy i guess. the letters were soooo boring.

review: CDs worth your money

every week, there's a new hit.

but does that make a CD worth the $17? especially since you can download them for free? no.

so here's a list of CDs worth every penny b/c every track on it is worth it. these are all 5 out of 5's:

LADY GAGA - THE FAME
 1. Just Dance ft. Colby O'Donis
2. LoveGame
3. Paparazzi
4. Beautiful, Dirty, Rich
5. Eh, Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say)
6. Poker Face
7. The Fame
8. Money Honey
9. Again Again
10. Boys Boys Boys
11. Brown Eyes
12. Summerboy
                                   13. I Like It Rough

LADY GAGA - THE FAME MONSTER 
1. Bad Romance
2. Alejandro
3. Monster
4. Speechless
5. Dance in the Dark
6. Telephone ft. Beyonce
7. So Happy I Could Die
8. Teeth






3OH!3 - STREETS OF GOLD
1. Beaumont
2. I Can Do Anything
3. My First Kiss ft. Ke$ha
4. Deja Vu
5. We Are Young
6. Touchin' On My
7. House Party
8. R.I.P.
9. I Know How to Say
10. Double Vision
11. I'm Not the One
12. Streets of Gold
                                   13. See You Go
                                   14. Love 2012

3OH!3 - WANT
1. Tapp
2. Punkbitch
3. Don't Trust Me
4. Chokechain
5. I'm Not Your Boyfriend Baby
6. I Can't Do It Alone
7. Starstrukk
8. Richman
9. Photofinish
10. Still Around - an unexpectedly heartfelt slow song
11. Holler 'til You Pass Out
12. Colorado Sunrise - another unexpected that is worth the 5,000 times i've listened to it





JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE - FutureSex/LoveSounds 


1. FutureSex/LoveSounds
2. Sexy Back
3. Sexy Ladies ("Let Me Talk To You" Prelude)
4. My Love featuring T.I.
5. LoveStoned ("I Think She Knows" Interlude)
6. What Goes Around... Comes Around
7. Chop Me Up featuring Three 6 Mafia & Timbaland
8. Damn Girl featuring Will.I.Am
9. Summer Love 
10. Until the End of Time
11. Loosing My Way
12. (Another Song) All Over Again

TIMBALAND - SHOCK VALUE II
 1. Intro ft. DJ Felli Fel
2. Carry Out ft. Justin Timberlake
3. Loose Control ft. JoJo
4. Meet In tha Middle ft. Bran' Nu
5. Say Something ft. Drake
6. Tomorrow In the Bottle ft. Chad Kroeger & Sebastian
7. We Belong to the Music ft. Miley Cyrus
8. Morning After Dark ft. Nely furtado & SoShy
9. If We Ever Meet Again ft. Katy Perry 
10. Can You Feel It ft. Esthero & Sebastion
11. Ease Off the Liquor
12.  Undertow ft. The Fray & Esthero
                                   13. Timothy Where You Been ft. Jet

RIHANNA - GOOD GIRL GONE BAD

1. Umbrella ft. Jay-Z
2. Push Up on Me
3. Don't Stop the Music
4. Breakin' Dishes
5. Shut up and Drive
6. Hate that I Love You ft. Ne-Yo
7. Say It
8. Sell Me Candy
9. Lemme Get That
10. Rehab
11. Question Existing
12. Good Girl Gone Bad


METRO STATION - METRO STATION
 1. Seventeen Forever
2. Control
3. Kelsey
4. Shake It
5. Wish We Were Older
6. Now That We're Done
7. True to Me
8. Tell Me What to Do
9. California
10. Disco

Review: books... "If I Stay" by Gayle Forman

Rating: 5 out of 5

Bottom Line: if you haven't ever read it, then YOU ARE SO MISSING OUT!

Synop: Mia has always been different. She grew up in a family of post-youth punk-rockers as a cello player. A celloist. In a family of punks. Her father played in a band. Her mother was his biggest fan. She was the odd little egg.

Then she meets Adam. Adam who also plays in a band, Shooting Star. And they're making it. They're going to go on tour, he's going to put college on hold.

But will she? Will she stay true to herself and go to Julliard? or will she follow the love of her life across the country?



But one snowy day in Oregon takes everything away. Suddenly, they're is only one question left: should she stay?

Rave: you HAVE to read this, even if it's THE. LAST. BOOK. you'll EVER read.

the characters are not only realistic, but heart-felt. they were love-able. they weren't only believable, but someone you fell in love with. they found a cozy spot in your heart. i'll never forget this book. that's for sure.

now, i have to tell you this: i NEVER buy books. i borrow, literally, a dozen books every week. books come and books go.

i don't have the money to buy books. BUT THIS BOOK IS WORTH IT. EVERY. PENNY.

this is one of those books where you'll read over and over. and you'll cry. every time, no matter how many times you read it. 

it will never grow old. 

Review: books... "Rush" by Jonathan Friesen

Rating: 4 out of 5

Bottom Line: A Must Read

Synop: Jake King grew up in a small mountain town, not known for being Daddy's son, but rather as an adrenaline-junkie. He was never his father's favorite son--that was his older brother, a renowned ex-fire-fighter. He, on the other hand, is not only a disappointment, but a problem. After one too many adventures to get his adrenaline fix, Jake is given a choice: to join the local prestigious fire-fighting crew, RUSH.

Oh, but Jake DOES have another addiction: not drugs. Salome. Beautiful, next-door neighbor, Salome. Salome, who is focused on college. Salome, who begs Jake not to join the RUSH club.

But to join, future-members have to accomplish a task.

RUSH is more then an a bunch of adrenaline-junkies: they're an elite crew of fire-fighters. More than one person has died trying to join. More than one detective is hot on their case, trying to pin them for the deaths.

But it's personal: Salome's brother died trying to join. Friends have died trying to join the elite group of RUSH members who call themselves the 'Immortals'

Rave: it's an amazingly well-written book.

But the entire time, i had a feeling of dread: that one day, Salome would wake up and move on, leaving poor Jake hanging, ready to kill himself.

the adrenaline in the book is amazing--it might have a better punch if i was a junkie too, so i could connect better, but it was a good book, i have to admit.

the characters were heart-felt, real, and when i found out about the REAL reason behind the elite group, i was touched.

but i was disappointed that Jake decided to cheat.

review: books... "Things I Know About Love" by Kate le Vann

Rating: 2 out of 5

Bottom Line: Skip It

Synop: This British gal, Livia Stowe, is on the way to America to visit her big bro who is studying @ Princeton after finally being free from leukemia's grips for a year. Her goal is to have a fling over the summer--leukemia has kept her from socializing, being a normal gal, and developing relationship experience. She falls for Adam, her brother's mate, but will it last once he knows about her condition?

Rave: It's a book w. a good plot--so many of them have good plots, but such terrible writing.


I mean, i LOVED "If I Stay" (Gayle Forman), which was something similar--a sad, good weapy book about falling in love when death looms by.

But this character is... lacking. She's well-developed, but... i don't know. here. let's try to figure this out together.

her personality is okay. situation: realistic.

thing is this: her brother, Jeff, falls in love with this gal Krystina, whom he's had a crush on forever, and a couple pages later, they're history. mistake #1.

and le Vann (author) let Krystina and Livia become SUCH good friends--they were like sisters, practically--(mistake #2) and then, later, when Livia bumps into Krystina, Krystina just runs the other way (mistake #3).

i mean, if they weren't going to work out anyway, why bother? why make them BFFs, and then turn their relationship into such a pickle??

the reader LIKES Krystina. she's cute, she's nice, she's the big sis figure. but then she suddenly turns all slutty and dumps Jeff (Livia's big bro). And all they had was ONE make-out session.

i mean, COME ON! Jeff has PINED for Krystina, Krystina became SUCH good friends with Livia, and then it all goes wrong.

le Vann (author) manages to give Adam his own blog to share his point of view and feelings, which i liked--it was quirky, funny, real.

but when Livia suddenly has a cancer relapse (realistic), and DIES from pneumonia (UNrealistic b/c the reader still hasn't let the feeling of sorrow sink in and she's already dead.)

i mean, it was not weepy at all. the sadness was not sinking in at all. and then, bam! she's dead. wow. and then Adam is sad, yea, but... there's no real sadness the reader can feel from the book, there's no moving on, growth, ... nothing.

Giveaway: Alex & Ani Spice Ring

Syle Symmetry is giving away an awesome Designer Apparel ring!

To enter, go here.

Contest ends 7-25-2010.

review: series worth your time

over the years, as a bookworm, i've read many, many books.

so if i rec them, trust me on this. b/c after all these days (hey, if a book is good, i can polish it off in a day), they're still memorable.


                                           ...BLUE BLOODS...

































breakdown: Gossip Girl meets Vampire Dairies. Every moment is purely delish.

there is one word, and one word only that would do this book justice: suspense. suspense. suspense. the characters are mysterious, feelingsare hidden, true intentions never revealed

Synopsis: let me intro Schuyler van Alen, a rich girl in Manhattan--you know the drill--rich, old money, private school (catholic).

but what you didn't expect was adding vampires to the mix. and Schuyler isn't a blonde-goddess: she's goth. she isn't the captain of the cheerleading squad: she's an outcast w. long-time bud, Oliver.

but she falls in love with the golden pair's boy: Jack. but Jack & Mimi have been together since forever. the dawn of time. literally.even though they're brother & sisters in this life.

rave: there is nothing like this. de la Cruz's interpretation is simply breath-taking. it has the suspense of gossip girl, and the doomed vampire love from twilight. 

this is simply a new breed of vampire books.

i love the series because this is bigger then Jack & Shuyler's feelings for each other.


                                                     ...EVERNIGHT...

















quick rave: "romance+suspense with forbidden love = evernight"

synop: this gal, "Bianca, has just left the small town where she's spent her whole life. She's a new student at Evernight Academy, a creepily Gothic boarding school where her classmates are somehow too perfect: smart, sleek and almost predatory.

Then she meets Lucas, another loner, who seems fiercely determined not to be the "Evernight type." There's a connection between Bianca and Lucas that can't be denied. She would risk anything to be with him—but dark secrets are fated to tear them apart... and to make Bianca question everything she's ever believed to be true."

rave: i think that this book is special because of the suspense, suprizes, and unsuspecting turns the novel takes--there are just so many instances where you never saw it coming.

and it's not like any other shallow teen romance novel--it has depth--it's more than just a love story: it's a journey of self-discovery & hidden secrets.

claudia gray really puts the forbidden in forbidden love. the journeys they go on together--the lies, the blood--i devour these books.
                                                ...GENERATION DEAD... 


  













synopsis: Phoebe is your average goth gal. She was always a misfit, but she takes it a step further by befriending the "differently biotic". The differently biotic are teens that come back to life after death--it is an unexplained phenomena that has scientists puzzled, people scared, suspicious, families ripped apart again, parents refusing to love their "differently biotic" kids...

Enter Tommy Williams, a differently biotic boy at Oakvalle High, who takes the lead for the differently biotic community, giving them a voice, asking for the world's attention when he joins the football team to prove that differently biotic should be given equal opportunity.

Twist: Phoebe's best-friend since forever and next-door neighbor, Adam crushes on Phoebe. Adam is your all-American boy: football player, handsome, next-door kinda guy that doesn't have the guts to tell Phoebe his feelings.

People don't have answers, parents don't have the love, and the law doesn't know how to deal with them--are they citizens? Do they have rights? What happens when they're accused of murder sprees in Oakvalle? What happens when Tommy joins the football team? What will Phoebe do if Adam dies trying to save her?

rave: readers come in looking for a teen romance--but they get so much more. because this is more than that.

call me a nerd, but what i like about this book is the real-ness of it all:

i can see so many paralells to the KKK, anti-semites, racists--it's about haters that hate on others--it's about organized violence, terrorism, and equality.

you can see a MLK persona in Tommy.
you can see the all-american boy in Adam.
you can see the average jane in Phoebe.


                                                                             ...SHIVER...

















synopsis: Grace, your average teenage gal in Mercy Falls, has observed the pack of wolves in the woods behind her house for a long time. They've been there since her earliest memories, but one wolf sticks: her yellow-eyed wolf. And one summer, she meets Sam, a boy with the same mysterious yellow eyes as her wolf. Can it be? Who is this boy?

rave: I think that this series is ok... well, it's been SUCH a long time since i read the first book (Shiver), so i guess my feelings on it is based off of the second book, which i just devoured yesterday in a couple hours.

I don't think that the second book (linger) was well-written all the way through. don't mistake me, there were huge chunks of the book that i ABSOLUTELY LOVED, such as the addition of Cole, his point of view with Isabel's... but i do have to say that her constantly switching point of views shredded my nerves in the beginning. I wanted to get down to business, and details (important details from the first book) were fuzzy, so I couldn't really connect to Sam's yearning in the second book.

                                                           ...VAMPIRE DIARIES...




 













i really like the books. the TV show... not so much. i didn't really give it a chance, i admit, but i don't like other people's interpretation. I like to keep Elena's face true to what I think she looks like, not how the actress looks b/c no such person that matches the book's description exists.

synopsis: Stefan comes to the little town of Fell's Church and falls in love with Elena, the golden girl: blonde, popular, but most of all, pretty. But when Stefan refuses to even glance her way, much less fall helplessly in love with her, Elena is determined to win his heart. Onto the scene comes Damon, Stefan's older, more powerful brother, who has set his sights on Elena. Unlike Stefan, Damon will do whatever it takes to make her his queen of darkness. Will Stefan rise up to the challenge?

rave: i think that the series is just delicious. it's perfect for a TV show/motion-picture, but i hate it.

this is just a classic, well-written forbidden romance between a vampire and a human that over come so many obsticles just to be together: the third wheel, dark influences, demons, vampires.

                                                                             =

TWILIGHT!

y'all know what this is gonna be about, so i won't really other. i know thousands of ppl would disagree with me, and i shouldn't say this, but i am a team Edward fan, and also a team Taylor.

the book + the movie are two different entities.

one: the book rocks.
two: the movie sucks.
three: robert pattison is... not worth a second look
four: taylor lautner on the other hand...

so you see?
but the books are worth waaaaay more than the movies.

my fave book in the series: the last one, breaking dawn (pic) & eclipse.

coupns. a compilation.

a list of brands, coupons, and samples alphabetically.

Air Wick
Always

Braun
Aussie
Bounce
Caress
Cascade
Charmin
Cheer
Clairol
CoverGirl
Crest
Dawn
Downy
Duracell
Febreze
Foldgers
Gain
Gillette
Head & Shoulders
Herbal Essenses
Iams – money back guarantee
Infusium 23
Ivory
Joy
Luvs – money back guarantee
Max Factor – no longer available after 2009
Metamucil
Mr. Clean
Nice n Easy
NyQuil
Olay
Old Spice
Pampers
Pantene – money back guarantee
Pepto-Bismol
Prilosec OTC
Pringles
Puffs
PUR
Scope
Secret
SK-II
Swiffer
Tampax
Tide
Venus
Vicks
Vidal Sassoon
Zest

life: 2010 vay-cay @ the dells. day 1.

we've been back from the dells for a week now almost, but i'm only blogging now... i don't kno why.

but here goes.

so this time, we were gonna go 2 the dells. again. for the 6-gazillionth time. @ the same hotel. playing in the same waterpark.

except this time, keni+jim aren't going cause of stupid high school stuff. ah... to b a freshman again.

but it's beyond stupid: jim has 2 go 2 summer school 2 get credit into higher math & skip health class and keni has this UN-mandatory freshman connection thing @ young.

but keni's mom still "made" him go while kate got 2 come w. us.

LINE UP FOR THIS YEAR: filled w. many firsts (jim's mom, both his grandparents, dan+ivy, anthony's family....lack of jim, ken, alice (as always), rest of kate's family)

-JIM'S FAMILY (BOTH his parents--surprise surprise! his mom could actually get 2 days off!, his grandmother, AND his grandpa. wow. his grandpa doesn't go any-where. like mine. but 3rd grandma convinced him 2 go, so he did.)

-KATE by herself. her family is additionally going 2 a cruise since dan, ivy + nate already went earlier in the year, and they got pretty cheap tix. kate's ma was convincing us all 2 go, but my ma+grandma sincerely hate cruises.

-DAN+IVY. another first. they actually were able 2 go this year. w. nate.

PLAN: stay in dells for 2 days, 1 nite.

the car ride wouldn't be really pleasant since nate will probably cry for getting stuck in the car for 4 hours, and dan will most likely short circuit from that, or the fact that grandma will nag him about something.

but it was surprisingly not so. grandma+ivy agreed over a lot of things and they caught up on gossip.

we met up @ a McD's off 90/94 and had breakfast. i ate like i was starved even though i made sure 2 eat a cup of strawberry yoplait w. blueberries b4 we left.....

================================================================

when we got there, the condo wasn't ready yet, so we went 2 play in the water park. as always. we left our stuff w. the adults, and went on our merry way.

after a little while, nita decided to go 2 the other waterpark that was supposedly only 5 min. away by foot (as told by the help desk). she had been pining 2 go 2 the other 2 water parks since we thought that we only went 2 one of them. but truth was, we've been to both already. we just didn't kno it.

so we decided 2 leave (we told the old ppl, who told us 2 be back in half an hour.) (they also brought sew lapp this time 4 food.... roast duck [decent], bbq pork [which was too salty], and roasted pig [none was left when i came]....but it didn't really matter how the food tasted. we were ravenous.

so we left. and walked across the hotel, past the parking lot, barefoot, and in our bikinis.

did u actually know that thin black stuff they use 2 fill up cracks on the road is actually quite soft? it's actually quite like moosh. it was fun stepping on them...

thank gosh the black paved lot wasn't too hot. it was bearable.

so we found it, and we found out that we've been there before. so we played. i told them half an hour has probably been up by now [whenever "now" was], but they ignored me, so we kept playing till they gave in, and we walked back.

but we couldn't find them!!

they abandoned us!!

so we were still in shock [no one was hyperventilating, so i guess we were in disbelief].

we asked this couple at the [now old-ppl-less table where they used 2 sit @] 2 borrow their phone. i mean EVERYBODY there had a phone. not only b/c i know it, but i SAW it. EVERYWHERE you looked, someone was texting on their phone.

so we called. and called. and no one picked up, so we had 2 give the phone back before we used it for longer than polite.

so we looked. all over the place. and it did not help that all 4 of us [kate, blendi, nita, and i] were wandering around looking for someone we knew when all 4 of us digbats needed glasses. which the adults had.

niiice right?

so we continued 2 look. i mean, i am NOT stupid. i could call front desk. but would they give us ivy's room? all i knew was that the condo was under ivy's name (it was pouring when we arrived, and the assistant out in the lot checked us in, and directed us). i mean, if they DID give it 2 me, i would be mad.

i could be a serial killer! or a stalker! so we gave up on that idea. i mean i had it when we first made calls, but i doubted it would work.

so this was our plan:

1. call them. [phail]
2. look [phail: all 4 of us needed, but didn't have, glasses!]
3. go 2 front desk [last resort]

so now that steps 2&3 were proven phails, we went 2 the lobby.

so i of course right off the bat asked 4 the room #, which, 2 the receptionist's credit, denied me.

i didn't kno whether 2 be happy or mad. or frustrated.

i gave her ivy's name.

i asked did she check in yet.

she said yes.

i asked her when.

she said she could not tell me that.

so we asked 2 use the phone.



she asked 4 an ID, which i of course wouldn't have either way even if i did have one (#1--i'm underage; #2--i would have left it w. the adults, which they would have then taken w. them)

i mean, all we had was the bikini on our backs.

but either way, i told her, it didn't matter b/c [we had different last names, and] i didn't kno her address, but she lived in ___e, IL. [which was still a stretch, b/c i didn't kno if she technically live in lin____. the one thing i'm sure of--she lived in IL...]

it was a match [thank josh], so she happily gave us a room number AND a key. AND offered us a shuttle 2 the condo. [how nice of her!]

[but i'm still sorta mad @ her... all i knew was ivy's name and the city where she lived. i mean, yea, we were 4 teens w. only our bikinis on [sorta helpless?], but still! we could be doing some serial killer's work for him!]

but she finally got around 2 calling the room, and they were actually there!

[i would have bet $50 they went out; the many times we've been there, we didn't spend much time actually IN the condo. it was only a place 2 wash properly and sleep.]

so ivy picked up, and we told them we were in the lobby, and dan was coming 2 pick us up.

in 30 seconds, dan was there, and he said, "now we have 2 find ur [my] dad."

we were like, "he was looking for us?! we didn't see him."

so we sat in the lobby. i dunno how long we waited, but it was fairly quick. dan came back w. my dad in tow, and we left for the house.

we washed up, and ate. it would be the only dinner we would eat there, and we decided to shabu shabu.

the old ppl, as expected, brought a rice cooker, and some lap yukk, & lapp cherng.

life: acne. the cure.

**disclaimer: i am not claiming for ANY of this stuff to be miracle water passed to me by the Almighty. i am not saying that this stuff works miracles on that sad little face that needs to be "fixed". this is just what, from my experience, works. give it a try, and give it some time.**

THE KEY IS A THREE-STEP REGIMEN. pro-activ has it. clinique has it. clean&clear has it. the key is the three-step program. make sure you get a good face wash, a good toner, and a nice moisturizer to make sure you don't dry out your skin (even if you have oily skin, it's important to keep your skin from drying out and making more oil, causing you to break out)


to do all of this, you have to see what skin you have:

to determine your skin type, go here or here.

if you have sensitive skin (allergic to ingredients), look for the "sensitive" lines of washes and products. they're always displayed on the front of products.

if you have dry skin, make sure that you get a good moisturizer. if you have oily or combo, just follow the stuff below.

DO THIS 2-3x A DAY, EVERYDAY.

......................ONE..................WASH.........................................................


KEY: 2% SALICYLIC ACID (or benzoyl peroxide) 2% is the normal dosage. for all-over face use, like washes, toners, or moisturizers. ($6-8)

tip: flip the bottle over, and it should be the first thing, listed as
"active ingredient: Salicylic Acid 2%.............................................. Acne Medication"

don't see it? put it back on the shelf.



my personal fave is neutrogena b/c their scrubs are to die for. (i would recommend the grapefruit one; pictured--it foams, which i love, AND it has enough scrubbing beads to clean, but not too many so that it's hard to wash off.)

johnson+johnson's washes are really creamy, which i don't really like b/c of the lack of scrubbing beads that neutrogena scrubs have.

clean&clear: i've used their acne kit, and i honestly have to say that it's horrid.

........................TWO............TONE.......................................................

















KEY: 2% SALICYLIC ACID

it's the salicylic acid that does the trick. THAT'S what fights acne. all the toners pictured above all have salylic acid. ($6-8 @ drugstores)

for all the first-timers: you want to drip some on a piece of cotton (squares or circles are best; cotton balls are too fluffy for me, but you can always try)

and scrub your face with it. (dermatologists say to do it in circles, but i don't really see a difference)

if you see that your skin is peeling or flaking, or if you have dry/sensitive skin skip over them, or use toner on that area less often.

.........................TWO. POINT FIVE.............................CREME......................




KEY: 10% BENZOYL PEROXIDE 

you want to up the acne medication because this stuff you're gonna only use it on the spots you have acne/feel a pimple coming.


if you do use it on your entire face, you will probably dry it out.

again: if you have dry areas, you want to avoid them, but if you break out, just apply some on there, just less often.

RECOMMENDATIONS: CLEARASIL ULTRA'S ACNE CREAM.

the only other option i know of out there is NEUTROGENA'S RAPID CLEAR (also has 10%)

dermatologists recommend that you use a variety of ingredients, and since face wash+toner had salicylic acid, this should help. (i've very rarely seen a face wash w. benzoyl peroxide, never seen a toner w. it either.)

....................................THREE.......................MOISTURIZE!...................................
















KEY: OIL-FREE or NON-COMEDOGENIC (it will not clog your pores or cause breakouts)

SPF IS A HUGE PLUS b/c skin protection is important to reduce scar appearances and to prevent early aging. 

I just saw this on Allure magazine: you can just substitute sunscreen for a moisturizer so you don't have to wear both. nice! 


if you have dry skin, you're in a hard place: oil-free will sort of skim you of your needed moisture b/c it's the oils in moisturizers that make them rich; but if you get the oil, then you risk clogging your pores...figure out what works for you and e-mail me! (fongyukyuu[at]gmail[.]com)

i've only tried three moisturizers: ~H2O+, neutrogena and clinique.

(~H20+ and Clinique are higher-end moisturizers, but i love them b/c they're gel --much lighter--great for summer. but if you have dry skin, opt for the heavier lotion-like moisturizers, like neutrogena)

w. clinique, i use the GEL b/c i have oily skin. if you have dry skin and want to use clinique, go for the lotion, which isn't oil-free, but allergy tested, fragrance free, dye-free. that's why i like clinique. ALL of their products are good for sensitive-skin people.

w. ~H2O+, i really LOVE their face oasis moisturizer. now they have a mattifying one that reduces shine!! (AWESOME FOR OILY SKINNED PEOPLE LIKE ME! i would still be using H20 if not for the fact that the h20 store @ my local mall closed) the picture of it is not above, but go here to order/see it.

w. neutrogena: i love their face-wash and toner to death, but their moisturizer is too creamy for me. it's really thick. but i guess it's good if you have dry skin. and neutrogena is the only company i know of that has SPF.

......................................................MISC....................................................















BIORE PORE STRIPS ARE TO DIE FOR. they work miracles!! if you have oily skin, it's a MUST have!! They unclog even your worst backed-up pores. ($9-11)


if you MUST WEAR MAKE-UP, WEAR THIS. This is neutrogena's salicylic-acid (2%) concealer, which would help w. your breakouts, but i would probably not recommend this if you have sensitive or dry skin. ($11-14)

if you have oily skin, CLEAN&CLEAR'S OIL SHEETS ARE A MUST B/C THEY ARE INEXPENSIVE, and INSTANTLY ABSORB SHINE! they are just life-savers. ($5-7)


i have not used the acne kits before besides Clean&Clear's, and i HATE it. pro-activ is $20 (+8 shipping), which lasts for about a month. but this will last you waaay longer than a month. i've used the same bottle of toner for more than a year. the facewash & moisturizer will last you about a few months.

i HAVE used toothpaste before, and it dried out my skin completely. but maybe that was b/c i used it over-night. made my skin peel from dryness for days.

life: acne.

my dearest friends, mis-guided miserable souls of the world, i know that this entry is long. but i also know that every single word is important. i thank you SO much for reading, and please, please finish it.


i'm sure you've been on the beach before, hon.


you've seen those obese women on the beach. the ones you ignore because they don't belong there. so you avert your eyes.


but u know what?

they don't give a f*ck what you think about them.


they don't give a d*mn what their stupid little scale reads, they don't count every single french fry they eat, and they couldn't be happier.


while you're stuck here. counting every, single, miserable calorie in that non-existent salad you just forced yourself to eat.


which you will burn off running like a lunatic on the treadmill AFTER you've calculated in your little shallow brain how long it will take to burn off running at 15 mph.

BE THAT GIRL ON THE BEACH!! 


don't mistake me. i'm not encouraging you to run down to your nearest mcdonald's and scarf down two big macs plus a large soda.


honey, listen to a teenage girl that's been through it all. i've been overweight, had acne (which is now under control), and now am currently in the process of getting braces. in sophomore year of high school. meaning they will NOT be off by senior year.

but i'm fine w. that b/c i'm confident w. who i am.

let's talk about YOU.

you need 2 stop obsessing. the pimple did not ruin your chances w. the football team's captain. it did not ruin your perfect date. your extra flab did not keep you off the beach. it did not keep you from fitting into the perfect prom dress.

you did.

you said freaked out, like you do every single morning, and said to yourself, "oh god.  look at my acne. look at my face! i gained weight! he would never ask me out!"

you can keep on staring at the mirror, asking yourself, "why am i so ugly?"

you can keep looking at the numbers on the scale, but they won't budge. maybe it's broken. why don't you try a few more times? go ask to borrow your neighbor's scale maybe?

by the time you've lost the two pounds, you'll want to loose two more, and two more until you're nothing but a sad little toothpick with only ONE goal in life: to loose two more pounds. those numbers don't bite, and they don't ruin dates either. surprise surprise!

cause you know what? those stupid little numbers on the scale are so friggin important! they ruin your entire life! 

so go! hide in a closet. and don't come out. don't come out until you've lost every single pound. 
until you pass puberty.
until that face fixes itself. 

 all you care about is that stupid little face.
and those numbers on the puny little tag that goes on your shirt.
the truth is, your world only consists of a little bubble filled with a scale, a mirror, and a plastic surgeon.

let me remind you hon, of reality.


WHAT GETS YOU THROUGH LIFE IS YOUR ATTITUDE. IT's not your face. it's not your bust. not those stupid little numbers on the scale that hold so much power over your life.


when you loose your job, when you go through a break up, when a loved one passes away, your acne-free face does make it hurt less. your size zero waist does not comfort you. your DD breasts will not get you a man that loves you for who you really are.

YOU CAN DO ALL THE PLASTIC SURGERY YOU WANT. go ahead and be the botoxed grandma at 67.

for all i care, you're doing the economy good, and keep plastic surgeons in business.

new york.

i have a distant aunt (that's two) in n.y. her name is kae.

my grandmother visited her, and she asked her, "kae, why do you drink less milk now?"

she replied, "because milk makes me fat. my tummy is too fat."

my grandma thought it was cute. my mom thought it was cute. i thought it was horrid. being a two year old little girl, being told you're fat. she has 3 older sisters, who are all teens now. they exposed her way to early. beauty is cruel. but so is reality. when it hits you upside the head.

when you all of a sudden realize that size 6 is too big. that your face needs fixing. when you realize that you don't "belong" in a swim suit.

you shouldn't be told when you're a little girl not even in kindergarten yet that you are too fat. that you need to stop eating.

this is the way the future will be.

little girls barely out of their cribs, told they are too fat.

too fat to be pretty.

too ugly to ever have a boyfriend.

i'm seeing a good future for all those cosmetic sergeons out there.

i'm seeing a race of puny humans that are more shallow than little puddles on the sidewalk. their small little worlds only consists of a mirror, and a scale.

they NEED other people. they NEED to be loved. by others. they NEED to be told they are beautiful. by strangers.


because their OWN OPINIONS ARE NOT IMPORTANT. because what they think about themselves is irrelevant.


but what about a little something called self-esteem?


what about the one thing you can't see in the mirror, looking back at you: your self-image?

once upon a time, there was a little girl that was over-weight in elementary school. she had no fashion sense, refused to wear jeans, and wore stretchy yoga pants to school, and always wore her hair in a pony tail even though it did not flatter her face.
she had horrible acne, and she was me.

i remember being at a distant relative's party one time: "that's her daughter. the fat one."


even my own aunts that i knew did not mean it, said it to me: "____, you gained weight!"


my parents cared more about my acne-ridden face than me: "wow, ____, look at your forehead!" "you grew a new crop!"


my mother would spend hours fussing over my acne, caring more than i did about it.

now, i'm crippling shy in school. i've always been called "quiet" by teachers. my parents ask me why i don't talk.

but ever since i got into high school, i've been surrounded by lots of out-going friends classmates. i don't call them friends b/c i don't have a close connection. to any of them. if i did not talk to them about school, there would be nothing else in to talk about. it's them that helped me come out of my shell. just a little bit. i'm still very much a wallflower; a mouse. part-time nerd, full-time geek.

flash back to me, post-acne: 

my cousin in 6th grade asks me every. single. time she sees me: "____, how did you do it?"

"do what? loose weight?"

"yeah."

"kate. stop obsessing. you're not even pass puberty yet! i honestly don't know. i had a growth spurt, and i just did. i stopped with the excuses i kept feeding myself about why i didn't exercise.

i stopped eating out of boredom. i noticed i would eat whenever just because. because there was nothing to do, because i knew the food was good, but you know what? the food is always good. that doesn't mean that i have to eat it. i'm not gonna miss out."

[my parents own a restaurant, and ever since i was a little girl, i would ask for food, and i would get it. i was surrounded by food, and i didn't know how to curb my eating. i ate when i was full, i ate when i was bored, i ate when i wasn't hungry...i ate just because i knew that the food my dad made looked good]

her mother would call her fat. she would say that she needed to loose a few pounds. she would ALWAYS criticize her hair.

i know that she doesn't mean any harm, but i know that it hurts.  

it hurts when your own mother calls you fat.  

it hurts when your mother tells all her friends that her daughter is fat. "yeah, look at our kate. she's like your son and needs to loose weight too!"

life: frustration

ok.

so recently, w. my root canal, i had to watch what i was eating: i can't have lots of things like pizza, corn, or ribs b/c i can' use my front teeth to eat.

but that's sorta not really true since i can cut it up to eat. i just have to eat spare ribs + pizza w. a fork and knife.

fun.

but yea. so i've lost 24 lbs. so far. from 128--114. i mean, i would/should be happy, but i'm not b/c i know that i didn't do anything to justify this weight loss, therefore it's unhealthy.

but i don't know what i'm doing wrong!

i mean school's out. i shouldn't have stress. but i sorta do b/c i've been looking 4 a job, applying to seven thousand different places. seeing hours i can do, making a resume, transportation, ect.


but i still haven't herd back from any of them yet, and it's been about a week by now.

but it's also not really a stress since i don't really need the extra money--i mean, it would be nice u know. buy a nice set of speakers for my new iPod nano. new earbuds. but i don't need it. so it's not really stressful; i just had my hopes up--it was my first time actually seriously considering a summer job, and i was naive. i mean, in this economy? with my non-existant work history, my age, my hours? i mean, i'm only asking for minimum wage, but still. i'm only available on the slowest days, unable to work the entire business day, no work history, poor references....

but yea.

and then i broke out for no reason. huh.

but i recently went back 2 the dentist, and he originally said i had 2 keep the brace on 4 six months, but now, i can take it off next month, meaning i've only had it on for 2 months. but hey--the sooner, the better. at this rate, it's guaranteed that i will not get my braces off by senior year.

but i just brush it off. i mean, i know several people who did their braces in their 40s, and are very happy w. it.

the thing that i'm sorta scared of is that i can't do braces after this b/c my tooth would have attached completely with my skull, making it impossible to correct my overbite with braces. that happens when you do a root canal. originally, your teeth aren't attached to your skull, enabling braces to move them; but when you break off the root, or do a root canal, there's a chance the tooth will grow back, and completely attach to the skull.